the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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