nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
