There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
