somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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