you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
