Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
