Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
