Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
