so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
