Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Are we still banned from the library?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
