Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
