Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
