Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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