woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
