he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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