You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
