Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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