.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
