A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I am available for nakedness
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
