how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
