i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
