i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
