i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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