Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
