And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
