stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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