Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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