Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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