fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
