All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
