No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
