just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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