Is it normal to miss your booty call?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
birth control should be required to get into college
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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