i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
