I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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