Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
