i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
