At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize