hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
