so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
A+ Viking dick
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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