Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
