i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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