The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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