he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
