So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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