Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My penis needs a shock collar
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
