I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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