People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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