Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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