brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
