Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
