This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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